I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
