i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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