ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
