so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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