After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
