Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
