Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
