wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you have to choose: penises or morals?
time to smoke my breakfast
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
