does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
