She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My ass is underappreciated
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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