too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
