can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
