Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
