You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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