wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
