I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
