I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
