Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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