I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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