i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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