no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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