Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
