i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
