Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
