If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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