Don't you send me to vm
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dick very happy bro
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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