Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
