No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We're too hungover to prance.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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