I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
