it's too hot outside to masturbate.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
