Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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