She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
