Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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