k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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