you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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