What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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