Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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