he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
