brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
