come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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