TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
