We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
