I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i dont even know how to be here
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
