She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
