i just wanna soil my oats bro
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
