He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
