I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
