Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
