I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
