and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Come see our sink grown plant.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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