Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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