fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
