someone get that fucking seahorse.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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