i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
