Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Fuck appropriateness.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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