so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
