No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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