i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
