Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize