You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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