What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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