You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize