he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
