Where is the hickey?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
