so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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