I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
