You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
