im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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